If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
