just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
