Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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