Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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