Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
