I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
ttyl tear gas
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
