You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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