My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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