I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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