We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
