I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
