help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woke up backwards on a recliner
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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