do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
