she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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