I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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