I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
