So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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