Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
