508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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