dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
