She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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