its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
