doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
