Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
