Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
