we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
