I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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