Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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