you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
