Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
