i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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