I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
