True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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