just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
