Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
