so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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