Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
