he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
