I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
