I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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