he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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