lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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