let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
