last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
