I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize