She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
