Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
