Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
