She is in my trunk
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
