Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sorry about my life...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
